Surrogacy and Men Having Babies | Support for Gay Surrogacy

Surrogacy and the Mission of Men Having Babies

The Center on Halsted, in the Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago, is dedicated to advancing the community and securing the wellbeing and health of LGBTQ+ people. A fitting venue for a Men Having Babies conference.

Jess is an Iowa mother of two kiddos and a dog. She’s a writer and also blogs about pregnancy, surrogacy, and motherhood. She is a one-time gestational carrier.

Intended Father Resources

Men Having Babies is an international nonprofit organization with an extraordinary mission. According to their website, “MHB is dedicated to providing gay men with education and financial support to achieve parenthood through surrogacy.” Basically, they help build families for men who might otherwise be unable to do so.

MHB fulfills their mission through multiple avenues. Their website provides a vast amount of resources, including articles written by experts, blog posts, informational videos, and a directory of providers.

The Men Having Babies Membership Benefits Program, or MBP, is the best way for you to get started in working with the agency. Anyone can join the MBP, not just prospective parents. By making an annual donation to the organization, you’ll be eligible for discounted services as well as peer guidance resources.

As a good-standing member of MBP, you’ll be able to apply for the Gay Parenting Assistance Program (GPAP). This program helps makes building a family more affordable for gay men through financial assistance at two levels. GPAP awards millions of dollars in financial support every year.

MHB conferences are held throughout the year all over the world. Locations include Chicago, New York, San Francisco, Brussels, Taipei, and Tel Aviv. These conferences offer so much for prospective fathers to learn about. Attendees are privileged to information about legal considerations, medical processes, choosing providers, financial assistance, and insurance.

Speakers and panel participants explain basic terminology, timelines, ethical preferences, and international planning. A few of MHB’s directors also host a Q&A session. Expos available throughout the conference allow attendees to speak directly with representatives from sponsoring businesses. Many of these even offered private consultations.

The Chicago Men Having Babies Conference

I matched with Nicholas and Jesse through Heartland Surrogacy and helped build their family as their surrogate. We maintained our relationship after I gave birth to their son Rocco. Our families have gotten together once a year since Rocco’s birth, and we keep in touch in between visits.

We attended the Chicago conference together, where we had been invited to speak as part of the Personal Stories panel. This was my first time attending, but Nicholas and Jesse had attended MHB conferences before and had even served as volunteers.

The first day of the conference involved a meet-and-greet and I was excited to finally put some faces to names after working with MHB through our journey. You see, Nicholas and Jesse had received financial assistance through GPAP. This program tremendously helped make their surrogacy journey possible.

When the four of us stepped off the elevator, we were greeted by a number of MHB board members. The executive director, the director of programming, the director of business development, and the benefits coordinator all welcomed us. After a quick COVID test, we were cleared to mingle with MHB members and other conference attendees.

As I quickly learned in my time at the conference, the reach and impact of MHB is widespread and unmatched.

The conference provides a wealth of information. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the fence about the surrogacy process or you’re certain about moving forward, you will walk away more knowledgeable than when you walked in.

That’s the beautiful thing about being a member of MHB. They’re like a one-stop-shop for gay men looking to start their family. Members are connected with seventy-plus providers that support the MHB mission. This includes surrogacy agencies, IVF clinics, egg donation, law firms, and complacency services. As part of this network, Heartland Surrogacy participates in the GPAP I and GPAP II programs to make surrogacy more attainable for men building families.

Sharing Our Surrogacy Story

The Personal Stories panel was the last feature of the conference. Its purpose is for prospective fathers to hear firsthand experiences from fathers and their surrogates who have worked with MHB through the surrogacy process. It’s a way to digest all the information from other panels and discussion: they get to see the result of the journey. It’s considered the most conversational and relatable of all the panels at the conference.

Nicholas and I were on stage with one other father and the moderator, a reproductive psychologist and board member of MHB. In a small theater, we spoke candidly to potential fathers about our journey. The three of us were asked a number of questions regarding our experiences through surrogacy.

Nicholas and I spoke of how we got matched, met for the first time, and continued our relationship after Rocco’s birth. We shared about our experience working with Heartland Surrogacy. Without the guidance and support of Heartland, Nicholas, Jesse, and I would have had no idea how to navigate through the complexities of the surrogacy process. They kept us on the right path and assisted us from start to finish.

After speaking at the panel, I was able to socialize with other MHB members and representatives. That gave me an incredible perspective of the organization. To say these people are kind is an understatement. They’re attentive and compassionate superheroes in their own way. They spend their days helping to create families.

What a time to be alive. We’re advocating and supporting gay men in fulfilling their dreams. Dreams that, without organizations like Men Having Babies, might never be possible.

All in all, I walked away from the conference with a warm and empowered feeling. The fact that I live in an age when groups of people and companies come together to help gay men become fathers is a beautiful thing. I am so proud to have played a small role in their mission.

To learn more about Men Having Babies, their sponsors, becoming a member, or attending one of their conferences, please visit their website – menhavingbabies.org.