All About Surrogacy For Single Parents
Many people think of parenthood as a journey taken on by two people. But in reality, the essence of becoming a parent is more about the boundless love and commitment you can offer rather than the number of people involved. In fact, many unpartnered individuals find themselves ready to answer the call of parenthood. If you are single and longing to have a child, surrogacy could be your path to parenthood!
Surrogacy offers a remarkable opportunity for individuals who want to have children but can’t carry out a pregnancy themselves. The first step is to create embryos; single intended parents can use their own genetic material and that of a donor, use both donated eggs and sperm, or use donated embryos. In gestational surrogacy, the embryo is transferred to the surrogate who will carry the pregnancy.
Building your family through surrogacy is a big decision, and starting a journey as a single person will involve additional steps, resources, and preparation. At Heartland Surrogacy, we are experienced in helping single intended parents achieve their dream of having a child. You can count on us to walk you step by step on your remarkable journey. To start, let’s talk about what you can expect on your path to parenthood.
Motivation for Becoming a Single Parent
Choosing to become a single parent shows just how much you want to give love, provide care, and make a difference in a child’s life. Your journey will reveal your inner strength and empower you to enjoy the freedom it offers. As you build a special bond with your child, you will continually be reminded of the courage and satisfaction in this deeply fulfilling choice.
In your surrogacy journey, you will have some similarities to what most couples experience, as well as specific challenges and experiences. As an individual, you may need unique planning related to financing, matching, and parentage paperwork. Your motivation, and the love you already feel for your growing family, will carry you through this preparation. As always, we’ll be by your side to provide the information and resources you need to succeed.
Financing Surrogacy
One of the most significant challenges that single parents can encounter is financing their surrogacy journey. Surrogacy costs can be substantial, ranging from $110,000 to $150,000 or more, depending on various factors. Details such as clinical expenses, donor material, surrogate insurance, and legal fees can affect this total.
For many people, this is an overwhelming amount. Intended parents (single or partnered) often combine resources to make their surrogacy dreams a reality. In our blog post, “Tips for Financing Surrogacy,” you can find insights into financing options used by other intended parents.
Your Surrogacy Providers
Your team at Heartland Surrogacy will serve as your main point of contact and support throughout the entire process. We know that the journey can sometimes feel overwhelming for single intended parents, as you’re making all the decisions on your own. We’re here to guide you by helping you find the perfect match, coordinating with other professionals, and managing various aspects of the journey.
To ensure a smooth journey, you’ll also want to connect with other providers that are supportive of your goals as a single parent. Here is a list of some that will have a specific impact on your journey:
- Your Fertility Clinic: Because your clinic will be providing the necessary medical services of in-vitro fertilization (IVF), surrogate screening, and embryo transfer, you’ll want to make sure they understand your specific circumstances and goals. In a segment of our blog series “Adventures in Extreme Babysitting,” Intended Parent Nick explains why he decided to look at multiple fertility clinics:
- “I had a bit of a struggle with this because the local fertility clinic had a protocol in place that placed firmer restrictions on single males like me that wanted to become a father and would extend my journey length significantly.”
- Your Fertility Clinic: Because your clinic will be providing the necessary medical services of in-vitro fertilization (IVF), surrogate screening, and embryo transfer, you’ll want to make sure they understand your specific circumstances and goals. In a segment of our blog series “Adventures in Extreme Babysitting,” Intended Parent Nick explains why he decided to look at multiple fertility clinics:
- It’s crucial that they also be genuinely supportive of you as a single intended parent, both in their interactions with you and in their practices. Through our relationships with fertility clinics across the country and our efficacy in collaborating with new clinics, we can help you find the clinic that will meet your needs.
- Legal Representation: Your attorney will be instrumental in securing your legal standing as a single parent throughout the surrogacy process. This encompasses not only the drafting and reviewing of legal contracts but also affirming your parental rights. They will also be responsible for addressing any legal hurdles that may arise. For single intended parents, the role of the attorney is particularly crucial in ensuring that your sole legal rights as a parent are both asserted and safeguarded. Because surrogacy laws vary by state, your attorney (and your surrogate’s) must be licensed in the state where the surrogate lives and have experience writing surrogacy contracts.
- Mental Health Professionals: The emotional journey of surrogacy can be challenging for intended parents of any background and marital status. Mental health professionals with expertise in third-party reproduction can provide counseling and support for both you and the surrogate throughout the process. Having a professional to talk to is particularly important as you navigate the unique emotional challenges that come with being a single intended parent.
Each of these providers plays a vital role in your surrogacy journey as a single intended parent. From managing medical and legal complexities to providing emotional support and helping you navigate the unique challenges that come with single parenthood, we all work together to help you achieve your dream of becoming a parent.
Matching With Your Surrogate
Our agency facilitates a smooth matching process in which we ensure that the surrogate’s profile aligns with the intended parents. Our experience even includes successful matches between single gestational carriers and single intended parents, demonstrating mutual understanding and support. Whatever your requirements and preferences are, we will use them as guidelines for finding you the perfect match.
For all intended parents, matching with a surrogate who shares your goals is a crucial step. As a single parent, you should be matched with a surrogate who is genuinely committed to your vision of parenthood. The surrogacy process takes time, and building a solid relationship with your surrogate as you move toward the next steps is essential.
Throughout the pregnancy, you’ll maintain regular contact with your surrogate. Working with the right surrogate for you will make clear and open communication easier to achieve. You can refer to our blog post for further insights on matching with a surrogate.
The Legal Process for Single Parents
The procedures to establish parentage can differ based on state regulations, and the specific process you’ll follow is determined by the state where your surrogate lives. Before embarking on your journey, you may find it helpful to consult with an attorney to go over any questions or concerns you may have.
In surrogacy arrangements, both the intended parent and the surrogate must have separate legal representation to safeguard everyone’s rights and interests. Your attorneys will work with both parties to create the gestational carrier agreement (GCA), which delineates the details of the partnership, roles, and responsibilities. Throughout this journey, your attorneys will continue to play a pivotal role, assisting with pre-birth orders, post-birth orders, and making any essential birth certificate corrections.
Emotional and Moral Support During Your Journey
- Lean on your providers. We’re here to help!
- Find your people. Traditionally, near and extended family members have been the pillars supporting growing families. Many also have a “chosen” family: special individuals in their lives who are like family even if they’re not related by blood. For some, a religious community can also provide strength and nurturing.
- Connect with other parents. Joining support groups and connecting with other single-intended parents or those who have built their families through surrogacy can be immensely helpful. These connections foster a safe community where you can share experiences, seek advice, and find solace.
- Prepare yourself for questions. Whether well-intentioned or not, people will ask questions! Start considering now how you might respond to inquiries about becoming a single parent, embarking on a surrogacy journey, etc., so you’re not caught off-guard later. It can boost your confidence to know in advance what information you’re comfortable sharing and how you might politely request privacy.
