Navigating surrogacy during the COVID-19 pandemic threw some stress into the journey for Surrogate Beth and Intended Father Nick! Social distancing started shortly after their 20-week appointment.
Fortunately, they were on the same page and were able to stay healthy and isolated. They messaged often and hoped it would all blow over before they get to the due date. It didn’t though…
Adventures in Extreme Babysitting is a surrogacy blog series compiled by Heartland Surrogacy. In this series, we follow the journey of Intended Father Nick* and Surrogate Beth*. They share their thoughts and feelings at various milestones in their surrogacy journey.
Did you take any additional precautions during the pregnancy to protect yourself from COVID-19? If so, what had the most significant impact for you?
Nick: For sure. Being in the medical field, I took the pandemic seriously. I adjusted my work routine, stopped seeing friends and family, and limited errands to only the necessities. In order to minimize everyone’s risk, I was no longer able to see Beth as we had anticipated.
It was tough not allowing my family to meet hers. No family or visitors would be allowed at the hospital during birth. Beth and I had to isolate in our bubble, and with our open communication and connection, we made it work. Of course, she did most of the heavy lifting!
Beth: Having the additional responsibility of caring for someone else’s child during a global pandemic, with so many unknowns for the first few months, definitely caused me to be even more cautious and caused some unexpected anxiety during the pregnancy. Due to the nature of the pandemic, my entire family had to take the same precautions that I needed to, so it was a lot of family togetherness!
As a result of the pandemic, how did your journey differ from how you imagined it?
N: I had imagined more time sharing milestones of the pregnancy with our families. Our plans for baby showers, my parents attending an ultrasound appointment, getting together with friends prior to delivery…these plans were all canceled. My friends also had to socially distance and focus on their own families, which left me a bit more isolated than I had hoped during such an exciting time in my life.
B: Nick lives less than an hour away, so he was expecting to come to all of my OB visits. After our 20-week appointment, he was only allowed to come to the 32-week ultrasound but no other appointments. We had also anticipated being able to spend time together and get to know each other’s families and friends during the pregnancy, but our communication had to become almost completely virtual.
How, if at all, was this delivery different from your previous deliveries due to COVID-19?
B: I was really nervous about the idea of having to labor with a mask on, so around 36 weeks, I talked to my OB about the hospital’s policies regarding mask wearing in labor. If I spontaneously went into labor, I would have to wear a mask and the staff would have to wear full PPE until my rapid COVID test came back. Assuming it was negative, I would be able to take my mask off after that point, but that could be several hours into labor. On my previous delivery, I gave birth within an hour of arriving at the hospital, so there was a good chance I’d be delivering while masked.
As a result, we decided to schedule an induction for 39 weeks so that I could be tested the night before. Thankfully, baby cooperated and I was healthy, so I was able to take my mask off in my room. My husband and Nick were not tested, so they both had to have a mask on when there was a provider in the room.
The other major difference was not being able to have visitors after the delivery. My husband was allowed to come and go, but no other visitors were allowed. Nick was kind enough to let us video chat with my kiddos so they could “meet” the baby and I know he video chatted with members of his family, but it was strange to spend most of 2 days alone in a hospital room while recovering.
You can read more about Beth and Nick’s incredible journey in other segments of this series. For current information about pregnancy during the pandemic, you can visit this page of American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
*Names have been changed to protect privacy.