Please know that, typically, surrogates do not expect gifts during their journey, and the best gift you can give your surrogate is an open, caring relationship. By far, the best way to show your appreciation for your surrogate is through respectful interaction, allowing space and time for their own family, and cherished involvement with your family (in whatever way is comfortable for you all).

We know there are some intended parents additionally looking to purchase a gift for their surrogate. You may be at odds about what to buy for a person with such a unique role in your life. If you are considering purchasing a gift for your surrogate, where you are in your journey will help guide your options. We hope the following suggestions are helpful in finding something that will convey your appreciation and support to your surrogate.

Beginning of Journey

Have you just started your journey with your surrogate? If you are in the process of signing contracts or in the midst of embryo transfer excitement, you may just be starting to form your bond with your surrogate. During this stage, a small token can let your surrogate know you are thinking of them and wishing them well during medical appointments. If you’re able to attend an appointment with them, consider treating them to a meal before or after. If they are traveling for the embryo transfer, flowers or a sweet treat delivered to their hotel can be a nice touch. For the holidays, a treat from your hometown or state can be like a bridge connecting your families.

During Pregnancy

If you and your surrogate are already enjoying a pregnancy bump, you could surprise them with a pampering gift or service tailored to her well-being. A set of her favorite toiletries, a spa service, or meal delivery during a busy time can all be special gifts. If you are interested in pregnancy-related care packages, companies such as Bump Box or Iowa-local Olive Grove Boutique have one-time and subscription options available. 

After Welcoming Baby

Some intended parents like to gift their surrogates something of high value after delivery. If your surrogate likes jewelry, consider a necklace or earrings with their (or their children’s) birthstone. A service such as housecleaning or additional childcare can help not only your surrogate, but also their family during the recovery period.

As your surrogate recovers, they will have emotional periods while their body returns to normal. Special mementos of your baby/babies can help remind them of the incredible journey they are wrapping up. Even a simple card with a photograph is a nice way of saying you’re thinking of them. 

For surrogates that have already become a part of your extended family, you will likely know them and their interests a little bit better by this point. Our surrogates often tell us how wonderful it is to receive timely updates of their “surrobabies” and even special drawings made by older children they have carried. You may instead consider a small gift for your surrogate’s children during the holidays; doing so is a way of recognizing the dedication and love they have for their own family, a likely motivator for serving as a surrogate.

If you want more suggestions or have any questions, please reach out to us here!